Spirit has a home

Dada found an unused pasture and the owner was happy to have a horse and little riding program there. It's a temporary home and pretty rustic, but it is a great start. Dada says she hopes I can start riding in about a month. How exciting!

Spirit seems like a wonderful horse. I fed her a few carrots, and when Dada opened the gate into the pasture she took off into it. She looked so amazing. She reminded me how much I miss riding. I won't even complain about having to ride outside in February, I promise.

Claren, my service dog, really liked the pasture, too. It is well-enclosed, so she can run free in it. Unfortunately, she decided eating horse poop was more fun than running free, so I need to work on that.

Get the Spirit

The papers are filed. The name of the new riding stable is Spirit, just Spirit I did a little page about it so you can see our first horses.

The page looks a little screwy in Firefox and I am working on it.

Name that riding center

We have to find a new stable still, but the biggest obstacle these days seems to be the name. You need to put a name on the founding documents. Dada wants spirit, bond, soul, hope, dream and a few other words included. Kate wants a pun.

Here are my suggestions:

• Stirrup your soul, but that is partly appropriated (stolen) from a riding program in Georgia my friend Lynne told me about.
• Let's ride Equestrian Center
• Horse-sense Equestrian Riding Center
• Galloping Spirit Equestrian Riding Center
• Unbroken Spirit Equestrian Riding Center

Undoubtedly better names are out there. Please, suggest some.

Future's so bright, gotta wear blinders

Dada has been energized by the whole fiasco with LMU. She and Kate and some others are almost ready to start a new riding program. I will be working on a website for it soon. It will be an inclusive program. Able-bodied riders will be welcome, so will therapeutic riders and para-equestrian riders (yeah!). We all have much to learn from one another and from horses.

Here is how I think a para-equestrian program can benefit everyone:

As the rider, I experienced joy I have rarely felt as I learned that I could compete in a physical competition and win it.

Other riders at Lift Me Up also benefited. One day during a lesson, Georgia asked if one of her rider could follow my dressage patterns. He likes that, she said. It seems that I was someone to look up to, a successful, independent rider, even though I was disabled. I sure never felt like a star; maybe I should have become a prima donna and demanded cinnamon pop-tarts and a private mounting stall? Probably not.

Finally parents also benefited. At the first Lift Me Up function I attended, the mother of a young girl with cerebral palsy seemed shocked and delighted to learn I held a job, lived on my own, was independent. I hold no illusions about my speaking, but I would like to think that I helped this woman realize that an independent and happy future for her daughter is achievable.

Crossing the Rubicon

I wrote checks and put them in the mail yesterday to return the donations to Keep Matt Trotting. Lift Me Up had sent me the a big check, so it did not come out of my money. Now, though, I can wash my hands with Lift Me Up.

I am sad about that. Despite problems there, which I often attributed to paranoia but were quite real, LMU sat me on a horse. I still remember all the help and protective hands, but more than anything I remember that I rode a horse. Me! I'll always treasure LMU for that and hope that the people there can fix a troubled program.

But that's the past, now I am focused on the future and it looks bright.

Not with a bang but a whinny

A little T.S. Eliot, even though his poems do not always rhyme. He gets a pass.

I am taking a little break from horseback riding. I hope it is temporary and not as bleak as my title suggests.

I need to find a new place to ride. I don't want to say more yet, but I expect more horse news.

Ride 'em, cowboy

Maybe I won't ever be confused with a rootin', tootin' cowboy, but I did some real riding today. On Andy!

Andy is not a riding horse really. He is a good therapeutic riding horse, but that means he is good at walking with a leader.

But I got him walking today. Dada said it was the best Andy had ever been ridden. She also said she couldn't have done better. That, I know, is a lie. A nice lie, though.

Kate said how good I looked. She thought I felt bad about how my riding was going because I was laughing most of the time. Far from it, I just thought it was funny how hard I was working just to get Andy to walk. Andy takes frequent breaks, too, to relieve himself, which doesn't lend itself to serious riding.

Bella is still lame. Dada says she's improving, but there is no timetable for getting her back and under saddle. Charm remains ostracized. I actually offered to buy Charm with the money donated to the program for me. That didn't go over too well. We are still working on the best way to use that money.

So I may be riding Andy awhile. He will be my trainer. He improves my balance because his swagger keeps me rebalancing. He improves my leg strength because his stubbornness keeps my legs working overtime. He is a good guy.

Better late than never

At least I hope that is what Lynne Hansen, Mary Kiernan-Stern and Ham & Ellie Hamilton think. They all made some very generous donations to Keep Matt Trotting, but no one told me. To say I feel sick is an understatement.

We are figuring out now what the plan is for that money. But let me say again: THANKS.

The ride was good. I was on Andy, and instead of just walking down the road, we went into the woods a little. Andy liked it a lot better than the road. He seemed quite happy. Even being led on a horse is pretty great.

Just fun

I rode Finn today. I have liked Finn's looks since I first came to Lift Me Up. He is a Norwegian Fjord pony, and Lift Me Up had to promise to groom him like a Norweigian Fjord pony. His mane looks a mohawk and he has stripes below his knees, almost like a zebra.

It was a fun ride. We went on a trail ride, which means I get help staying in the saddle. It was so nice out today; the ride was real pleasant.

Unfortunately, I am not sure how much longer these fun rides will interest me. At the start, all I wanted to do was ride, but Dada and everyone showed me I could do so much more. Now, it seems I am taking a step back.

I don't know if Charm is gone from Lift Me Up yet, but I am sure she is gone from my riding life. Bella is still lame, and it sounds like they aren't sure when or if she'll be back. So most of the horses there, I think, aren't that well-suited to me.

I am not going to quit, but hopefully it will grow more challenging.

Matt’s trotting

Bella is on the injured reserve with some lameness, and Charm has been expelled from Lift Me Up. Well, she still lives there, but she is not riding, or carrying a rider or whatever (More on that later). So a crafty old veteran came through for me. I rode Andy, the first horse I rode at Lift Me Up.

Andy is short, unlike Bella and Charm, but he is real wide. Quite stocky. He also doesn't take direction well. Dada says small horses are often a little stubborn like that. But he is a great follower, so a volunteer led Andy around the trails outside, while Dada and Kate were my sidewalkers.

It is way different, walking on a trail, way more bumpy than a ring. But I really tried to sit straight and hugging tight with my legs. It was hard, but Dada said I looked pretty good. It sure felt good, too.

And Andy trots. I can't trot on my own. I am not sure I ever will be able to, but it is so fun. I hardly breathe, mostly because I am laughing. It is such a neat feeling.

As far as Charm goes: I have a friend who has a farm deep in the heart of horse country, otherwise known as Middleburg. She said she'd love to adopt Charm. One of the benefits: I could ride her sometimes. Yeah!

Dressage Broadway-style

Wow, today was really great. There’s that song in My Fair Lady that Audrey Hepburn’s character sings “I could have danced all night.” I felt like I could have ridden all night. And just because I am quoting Broadway does not make me less manly.

Dada agreed with me that we could get a written test so I would not have to concentrate on hearing. So I made a test up last night. And today I rode it.

I did forget the serpentine at the end but otherwise it went pretty well. When I do a figure 8 my circles are pretty thin., so I need to work on that.

But it didn’t matter. The people watching clapped, and I did it a second time and they clapped again. It felt really good. Charm was generally real responsive to me. She walked great and when she slowed down I was able to get her going again.

The lesson wasn’t all about riding. Lift Me Up is letting Dada adopt Charm. So we have a horse! But now we need a stable and ring because she can’t stay at Lift Me Up. I can’t decide if this is a step forward or not.

Just a 1-pack

I began riding a little over a year ago, and one of the goals was to strengthen my trunk muscles. Judging from how sore my abdomen is tonight, we aren't there yet. Not even close. And it's not like I want 6-pack abs; I'd just like to do one sit-up.

But it was a good lesson. Dada emphasized sitting up straight and holding myself up without using my hands. It was tough, hence the trunk pain.

Also, I almost died again. Really. I had a "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger" moment. Of course, I tend to have a lot of these. We were rounding a corner, I was on Charm, when the people watching said "Dada, watch out." We all stopped, and Dada grabbed Charm. I still couldn't see what was going on, but Charm could. She started getting all skittish and moving all around, and if Dada wasn't holding her I am not sure what would have happened. Charm did turn so I could see the problem; it was deer. Charm is not a fan of wildlife.

Kate ran the deer off and we got back to riding. One hard thing was Charm was following Dada around like a puppy dog. It was funny, but a little tough. And I need to talk to Dada: I concentrate so much on riding, it is hard to also concentrate on hearing her riding directions. I think it might be better if I had a written list of riding moves so I only have to concentrate on riding.

It also was the first time my mom has seen me ride in a while. That was cool.

Not so Charming

I had just an OK lesson today. I was riding Bella. Another instructor at Lift Me Up was working with Charm to try to get her to accept side-walkers.

Unfortunately, I really missed Charm. I couldn't get comfortable on Bella. I was up in the middle of night with Claren, and my allergies are acting up, but I don't think it was either of these because I don't feel bad. Dada said Charm has a faster, smoother gait. I like Charm better, I think, but I feel guilty for admitting that.

A little catch-up

I went to the Middleburg Classic Saturday night to make a presentation for CCI. It's a big hunter horse show, and after watching one round I wish I could ride like that. They cantor and jump and look so good. I even got to plug Lift Me Up and my riding. During the presentation on CCI, I just mentioned that I ride at Lift Me Up. No one offered me millions, though. Yet.

Also, I got a mention in the magazine of the North American Riding for the Handicapped Association. Actually it was a picture, from the riding in Colorado Springs.

Finally, I got a fan letter. Really. From friends of Dada, but still. It reads in part:

Have fun at the games. Take time to enjoy. Know that we all care and support you. Win your events if can, but win a fun foreign time also. Life is too short to go without some enjoyment. Loosen your rein just a little, but never loose control.

Sure, you are an athlete! We all are athletes, because God made us that way. Some of us display our talents in a different style than others, and some must compete only against their own records of time, distance, manner, or whatever.

Don't be caught being nervous about the competition, and don't get caught back home failing to thank those who have helped you to progress.

I am not sure what games they mean, but pretty cool, huh?

Best ... Lesson ... Ever

It was, according to Dada. It got off to a bit of a rocky start, though.

Dada decided to put me on Charm today. Apparently, Charm's popularity at Lift Me Up has faded a bit. Dada said she is fine with riders but not with side walkers. She bites them.

So instead of Kate holding the horse while Dad and Dada help me on, today Dada held the horse while Kate and Dad helped me on. It was just a little awkward. After I got on, Charm was great, well except for when she jerked her head a couple times. Dada asked me after one of them if I was scared. I wasn't. I was really pretty excited and proud that I could ride as horse like Charm.

And she is such fun to ride. I have to watch her all the time because when Charm hits a straightaway, she is ready to go. She really picks up her pace, and I have to slow her down. It is almost the exact opposite of Bella. With her, I am always encouraging her to get along.

I actually rode well enough that some of my circles were really circular. I am still having a bit of a problem keeping the horse's head curved along the edge of the circle, but the circles were there. And Charm keeps walking through it all. She is awesome.

Bella makes my heart skip a beat

We were riding outside today in very fall-like weather. It was really comfortable, and I felt pretty good about my riding. I was keeping the circles sort-of round and generally the right circumference, give or take a meter.

We were rounding a far corner, going from C to M to somewhere, when he appeared. His name was death, or maybe Joe, and he carried a scythe, or maybe a Weed Wacker.

I actually never saw him, but Dada did. So did Bella. She took the corner OK, but then started speeding up. I didn't really have time to panic or anything. She was trotting only a few steps. I started pulling the reins sand saying "easy" and Dada came running in and Bella quickly settled down.

Kate and this girl who helps out at Lift Me Up gave me a round of applause for my death-defying efforts.

In retrospect, really all I remember thinking is: "Is Bella really trotting? What the heck?" And sort of wanting to laugh. Dada complimented me and Bella on our lack of panic. Then she gave Bella a treat. Not me. No candy for Matt.

After that the ride was still pretty good, but I could not get a serpentine down. I kept making odd turns and not going straight.

Part of my problem, and I think this becomes more pronounced the longer I am on the horse, is that I sit on my right side. To combat this, Dada wants me to shift left every so often. She wants me to practice this in my wheelchair. So if you see me shifting in my chair, I am not uncomfortable, just practicing dressage.

Check me out

So I posted my first video on youtube tonight. I figure I am now well on my way to superstardom, and I so can't wait I can't wait till I get to dictate what drinks have to be in the waiting room before I appear on a show. And the flunky page tries to substitute generic raspberry tea for Bigelow raspberry tea. And I am all: "I'll wheel out of here right now." And then the flunky gets fired until I graciously get intervene. And everyone loves me some more. And I hire people to be professional hangers-on; I already have a few feelers out.

Or not.

It is a silly little video, and I used iMovie's twirl effect to go between clips. I figured when else will I get to look like I am on the old Batman show. I could be the nefarious villain The Horseman, and Batman could call me the Evil Equestrian. That would be awesome.

It is just a practice when I ride around sticks. I am on Bella. We seem to be moving kind of slow, but it doesn't feel that way when I am on her back. I am sitting pretty straight, though.

Here is the link if the image at top fails to work.

SWM ISO horse, but nothing weird

Dada has a new idea to get me riding more -- we get me a horse.

Well, sort of.

Dada wants to find a good dressage horse that someone will donate to Lift Me Up for use exclusively in para-Equestrian riding. She said she would take care of the board and I could ride whenever I wanted. So I guess could any para-Equestrian rider. I am the only one at the moment, though.

How awesome would that be?

We would need a wide horse like a Morgan or Shire horse. This horse would be better than Bella or Charm because they are used to being therapy horses and being led. So, Dada says, Charm and Bella are used to ignoring the rider. But I need them to pay attention to me.

So if you want to donate a good dressage horse, please let me know.

The lesson was OK. I was a little out of rhythm because I hadn’t ridden for two weeks and Bella was a little put off by the weather but I didn’t fall. I had trouble walking Bella next to the wall, which is where horses are supposed to be in dressage. She is always looking to Dada; maybe a para-Equestrian horse would not do that. Probably, though, all horses are Dada friends.

Going in circles, but it's good

Another really good lesson today. My niece Meghan came to watch and we rode outside, and I did pretty well. I rode a lot of small circles and most of them looked pretty circular. I had some trouble getting Bella to walk straight and also to use my legs to get Bella moving.

Dada was having me work hard on my legs and feet positioning and I found it hard to keep everything in the right position and still be able to press my heels into Bella to encourage her.

When I was in Colorado and was graded a Level 2 rider, Dada said not to worry. Either it would get changed to a lower grade, or it meant she was too respectful off my disability. It hasn't been changed yet - though I am sure it will - but I am worrying that we are underestimating my disability. Dada said I need to keep my heels under my hips and not forward or too far backward. She asked if I could feel when my feet are in a bad position. No, I can't. I told her. I just am scared that I am going to hit a wall and not be able to do any better.

I don't know why I am scared of that. I mean I rode so well today. They even had me posting a little. I continue to improve. But ... I think this is one thing my disability has done to me: Left me doubting, unsure, sad, even after a good ride.

I've got legs; I know how to use them

A really good ride today. The dressage saddle is pretty awesome because it allows me to use my legs. I can hold on pretty well, but I can also encourage the horse to ride with my heels. Today I was riding Bella. She is really good at accepting encouragement. It is amazing: She sure speeds up when I push in my heels. My boots have a little metal thingee on the back. And when she speeds up, she gets in a much better rhythm. So it feels great. Dada also has me using these reins that clip on the real reins, so I can get a better grip. And finally, Dada and Kate said I was sitting up quite straight, even without the whip in the small of my back.

It started to rain right when we got there, and several other riders came into the ring to join us. It was a bit of a tight fit, but we managed. I think I like competitions, though, because I don’t have to listen to anyone. I just memorize my test and go. It is hard to hear with three other riders, rain and just my general hearing loss.

I had to laugh as I left the ring because all through the lesson I was just squeezing my legs together to encourage Bella -- just one extended squeeze. It wasn’t until we were on the way out of the ring that I figured out that Dada was telling me to pump my legs in rhythm with Bella’s walk.

Charmed living

Charm made a triumphant return to my dressage lessons today. Well, triumphant enough. She walked today pretty well, which was awesome. And when she didn't, I was able to use my feet and legs to encourage her.

We used a new saddle for her too, a dressage saddle.

The one problem was when I slid a little far to the right. There is nothing to stop me on this saddle, so I slid. Not off. I didn't fall. But when I slid Charm tried to get under me and she wound up stopping. Other than that it went pretty well.

It hotter than heck but that was OK.

There are days like today when I really wish I could ride twice a week. I just feel I'm making strides and want to continue.

It must be the shoes

I had my first lesson today with my new boots, which are very nice even if they are women's. I also rode with a new saddle, a dressage saddle. It felt pretty good. I was a lot closer to Bella. Or I felt that way at least. Dada and Kate said I looked good and rode well. I felt unbalanced only once or twice, so that's good. It was mostly on free walks that I felt out of sorts. In free walks, you lean forward on the horse's neck and let her pick the gait, I think. I think we will stick with this saddle. Apparently, it is a lot more comfortable for Bella. I think the Australian saddle weighs a lot.

I have been having issues keeping my horse - Bella or Charm - close to the wall when riding. In dressage, you want to ride right on the rail. I think with Bella some of it is she knows the barn so well, she turns early. She was more than willing to go to the rail so I guess I need to keep her there. Also, Kate was always on my left so I needed to not crush her. I think she appreciated it.

We rode a bunch of circles and half-circles. Sometimes I did really well. Other times, not so much. Dada told me to never ride a straight line when trying to ride a circle. Of course, that's true. I asked her what to do if I made a mistake in the circle, and she basically said, you don't make a mistake. I may be screwed.

Dada mentioned a clinic in Pennsylvania in November. She said the vice president of the U.S. Para-equestrian team or something wanted to see her and me again. I don't remember seeing her once. But cool.

Where there's a whip, there's a way

This entry would be a whole lot funnier if my grandmother hadn’t broken her hip last night.

My lesson this week had great comedic potential, and I learned from it, too. I got on Bella and rode her into the ring. Then I stopped her while Kate, one of the volunteers, got something for Dada. It was a riding crop!

"Uh-ho, Bella," I said, although I wasn't sure how exactly I would hold one, let alone use it.

Dada started to slide the crop under my left arm, and I thought she wanted me to hold it in my armpit. But she didn't stop sliding, and before I knew it she stuck it behind my back and in front of my right arm. The reason, she said, was to make me sit straight, although she and Kate were laughing at the time.

It felt pretty good actually. It was crazy hard, but Bella really responded well to me. I hope I can teach my body to balance better. Dada thinks I can, but sometimes I think we are doing something that will never get a lot better because of my disability. We'll see.

Back to Bella

So I started riding Bella again today. She was more sprightly than I remember. I even trotted on her. It was pretty crazy. But fun. Dada said she worked some magic to get Bella moving better. It sure worked. One thing I miss about Charm is that she was not as drawn to Dada. Bella is totally Dada's girl, and if you don't watch her every second she turns to go to Dada. As a result the circles I was making often had weird little cuts in them because Bella would turn to Dada who was in the middle. We were riding to music today. I recognized something from Barry and Lynn's Turnstile album and Maury's Wedding or whatever that Irish tune is. All instrumentals. A good ride.

So long, lucky Charm

It looks as if my dalliance with Charm won't even be a summer love. Today, Dada said I would rotate on Charm and on Bella for the rest of the summer and concentrate on my riding skills. I was OK with that, although I really liked riding Charm with her sprightly step. But then I rode her. Or tried to. She wouldn't walk hardly at all. Dada was leading her and she was still not walking rhythmically. Finally Dada got out a little whip, or I guess a riding crop. To me, it looked like those back-scratchers with the hand on one end of a 15-inch stick. Even with the back-scratcher we could not keep her going. Dada said part of the problem is that she is old-ish and is popular in the stable. So she gets used a lot. I felt guilty sitting on her. Then Dada said say your goodbyes to her and I got off. Back to Bella.