Going in circles, but it's good

Another really good lesson today. My niece Meghan came to watch and we rode outside, and I did pretty well. I rode a lot of small circles and most of them looked pretty circular. I had some trouble getting Bella to walk straight and also to use my legs to get Bella moving.

Dada was having me work hard on my legs and feet positioning and I found it hard to keep everything in the right position and still be able to press my heels into Bella to encourage her.

When I was in Colorado and was graded a Level 2 rider, Dada said not to worry. Either it would get changed to a lower grade, or it meant she was too respectful off my disability. It hasn't been changed yet - though I am sure it will - but I am worrying that we are underestimating my disability. Dada said I need to keep my heels under my hips and not forward or too far backward. She asked if I could feel when my feet are in a bad position. No, I can't. I told her. I just am scared that I am going to hit a wall and not be able to do any better.

I don't know why I am scared of that. I mean I rode so well today. They even had me posting a little. I continue to improve. But ... I think this is one thing my disability has done to me: Left me doubting, unsure, sad, even after a good ride.